So, the headlines are out. The Portland Business Journal, in its infinite wisdom, has declared the "winners" of PGE's latest "bidding 'refresh'." And the lucky contestants taking home the grand prize are… drumroll please… Solar, battery projects win in PGE bidding 'refresh' - The Business Journals.
Wow. Groundbreaking. Give them a damn trophy.
Let’s just take a moment to applaud this stunning, totally unpredictable outcome. A major utility in a progressive state, in the year of our lord 2024, has chosen renewable energy. I’m shocked. I’m stunned. I need to sit down.
The real question isn't who won, because the press release tells you that. The real question, the one that actually matters, is the one in the headline I wrote: Who actually won? Because I can promise you, it wasn't you.
The Corporate Shell Game
First, can we please talk about the language here? A "bidding 'refresh'." What in the hell is that? It sounds like something you do to your browser when a webpage freezes, not something that determines the future of a region's power grid. This isn't an accident. This is deliberate, weaponized corporate jargon designed to make your eyes glaze over. It’s a term so bland, so utterly devoid of meaning, that it actively discourages you from asking what it really means.
Let me translate. A "refresh" is what happens when the first round of bidding was probably a complete mess, or the results weren't politically convenient, or the right backroom handshakes hadn't been made yet. You don't "refresh" a process that's working. You "refresh" it when you need a do-over without admitting you screwed up the first time.
And who are these "winners"? We're told they're "solar and battery projects." Not companies. Not specific locations. Just nebulous, feel-good "projects." It’s like a parent telling their kid that "vegetables" won dinner tonight. It’s a category, not a victor. Why the vagueness? Maybe because if they gave us actual names, we could look them up. We could see who’s on their board, who their investors are, and how much they’ve donated to certain political campaigns. Can't have that, can we?
This whole process is a masterclass in corporate misdirection. It's like a game of three-card monte on a street corner, only the dealer is wearing a thousand-dollar suit and the table is a multi-billion dollar energy infrastructure. They flash the "green energy" card, you get all excited, and by the time you look down, your wallet—in the form of your monthly utility bill—is a little lighter. They want you to focus on the shiny object, the solar panel, so you don’t ask who’s holding the contracts and cashing the checks.
Green Energy or Greenwashing?
Look, I’m not against solar panels or giant batteries. I have a phone that needs charging just like everyone else. But let's be brutally honest here. For a utility company, "green energy" isn't primarily an environmental strategy; it's a PR and financial strategy. It’s the cost of doing business in a world where you have to at least pretend to care about the planet melting.
Announcing you’re backing solar and batteries is the safest, most boring, most predictable move PGE could have possibly made. It’s the corporate equivalent of posting a black square on Instagram. It signals virtue without requiring any real, fundamental change to the power structure. This is great news for the environment. No, "great" doesn't cover it—this is fantastic news for PGE’s marketing department and the ESG investors who get to pat themselves on the back.
The real test ain't what kind of power they’re generating. The real test is what it costs you and me. Are these new, "winning" projects going to lower our bills? Are they going to make the grid more resilient when the next ice storm or heat dome hits? Or are they just a new set of assets that PGE can use to justify another rate hike to the Public Utility Commission? They get to build shiny new toys, guarantee a rate of return for their shareholders, and we get stuck with the bill. It's the oldest story in the regulated utility book.
I can just picture the meeting where this was decided. A bunch of executives in a soul-crushingly beige conference room, staring at a PowerPoint deck filled with buzzwords like "synergy," "decarbonization," and "future-forward paradigms." The air smells faintly of stale coffee and quiet desperation. Someone in a crisp, white shirt points to a slide and says, "The polling indicates that 'solar' and 'battery' are our most favorable keywords for public sentiment." And just like that, the "winners" are chosen. It’s not about engineering or economics; its about managing public perception.
Then again, maybe I'm the one who's lost the plot. Maybe this really is a huge leap forward, a genuine investment in a sustainable future, and I’m just too cynical to see it. But when a monopoly announces it has picked the "winners" of its own private contest, my first instinct isn't to applaud. It's to check my pockets.
Spoiler Alert: You Didn't Win
So, who actually won the PGE "bidding refresh"? It wasn't the climate, not in any meaningful, immediate way. It certainly wasn't the Oregonian ratepayer who will inevitably be footing the bill for these capital-intensive "projects."
No, the winners are the same people who always win. The consultants who charged a fortune to "manage the refresh." The nameless, faceless investment funds that own the solar and battery companies. And, of course, PGE itself, which gets to wrap itself in a green flag, lock in guaranteed profits on new infrastructure, and send out a press release that makes it sound like a hero. It’s a closed loop, a self-congratulatory system that’s gotten very, very good at making you think you’re part of the celebration. You’re not. You’re just paying for the confetti.